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I am human
This saying is a saying I have to say to myself everyday. In my previous post, I was never allowed to speak my mind nor make any mistakes. This is where I believe i developed my Mental Health Disorder known as Anxiety. I was diagnosed in 2013 by my doctor and confirmed by a referred therapist. Although I have been through therapy and have chosen to not take medication and stick to the natural ways of calming my anxiety. There are pressure points, oils, meditation, yoga and breathing techniques. I am learning new and different ways to battle my, i’m assuming, life long battle with a mental health disorder.
I suffer from light insomnia where i have trouble falling asleep and I know a LOT of people can relate. I wish to advocate in some way for those who suffer from anxiety and that have been diagnosed by a doctor/therapist. If you believe you may suffer from anxiety, please make sure there isn’t anything else more serious or minor going on with your body before resorting to this being the reason. A lot of people have disagreed with my statement, but… please do not look up on WebMD or you may think you have schizophrenia when in reality… You’re grieving or tired and overworked.
We are all HUMAN, mistakes are allowed, one learning experience that took myself a while to understand is that… if you make a decision and a choice that you KNEW was a mistake… there will be consequences. Consequences may be positive or negative to you but they are the end result of your actions. Own up to them and if you need to apologize to someone you may have hurt as a result. APOLOGIZE and OWN UP to your mistake… Hiding and avoiding is something my children do when they do not want to get in trouble. Keep that in mind.
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No longer remaining silent
In 2007 I was in college, snowy Flagstaff AZ… I had just broken up with my high school sweet heart. It was very life changing and also heart breaking… most of all it was terrifying… He was emotionally abusive and always called me names and making me doubt everything about myself. If he could not control me he would make sure NO one could. He would threaten not only my physical well being but also his own and make sure that people knew it was MY fault that he was led to ending his life. I was 19 and weak…
I learned my lesson… Stay strong and speak up. Unless I was holding the weapon or verbally/texted the words “KILL YOURSELF”, than there’s no way it would’ve been my fault. This BOY crushed me… I was already going through so much as it was… parents divorce, brother and sister trying to deal with it in a way that terrified me, adjusting to college life and having to learn pure responsibility of my own actions and not just facing being grounded.
He ruined me… or so I blamed him of doing. I’ve come to learn that it was not completely his fault. I could’ve walked away a lot sooner. My family was concerned as well because I would have frequent panic attacks and jump when my phone would ring. I would cry in fear if I did not answer his phone calls nor his text messages. I believe this is where I began keeping my mouth shut… 2019 and I have chosen to no longer be afraid to speak MY TRUTH!
There are 3 sides to every story… My side, Their side and the truth.
Everyone reacts to situations differently. The way I react to the rain may not be how the stranger standing next to me reacts.
2019-I am going to speak out… I am going to speak my truth, I will type it here so that hopefully anyone who peruses my page may receive some enlightenment that they are searching for and do not yet know it.
2019 and I am going to draw more, I used to do it a lot to where I couldn’t keep a clean/blank sketch book.
2019 I am choosing my voice
